Love spells can be tricky. When you have love in your life, it feels like your heart is spilling over with joy and abundance. That’s a powerful energy. If you work a love spell when you’re feeling like that, it’s going to really pack a punch. Unfortunately, that means the opposite is true as well. When you don’t have love in your life, you really, really feel its lack.
You’re overflowing, but with feelings of sadness, rejection, loneliness, and separation. If you perform a love spell from that place, the results will come slowly, or maybe not at all. And let’s face it—we tend to work our love spells when we’re feeling unloved.
There’s nothing wrong with that. When you get a flat tire, you fix the tire, not the transmission. Witches are practical people. If you need some love, by all means, do a love spell!
The question becomes: How can you perform an effective love spell when you’re feeling heartbroken?
It’s easier than you think. Whether you’re trying to rekindle the love in your current relationship, or you’re a single witch looking for your special person, these eight tips will supercharge your love spells in powerful ways.
Tip #1: Start with a Self-Love Spell
Attracting a partner through a love spell starts with loving yourself. You are powerful, and you can use that power to fill yourself up. By working a self-love spell first, you can essentially “prep” your energy for your romantic love spell.
Self-Love Tarot Ritual
Arrange the cards of your tarot or oracle deck face up in a circle on the floor. Place five flower blooms or rose quartz crystals evenly around the outside of the circle. Stand in the middle of the circle and close your eyes. Breathe in the loving energy you’ve created inside your circle. When you’re ready, open your eyes and select one of your cards. Don’t think too much about it; just gaze briefly at the images. When you feel your intuition nudge you, pick up that card. Sit in the circle and study the image on the card. Think about your connection to the card. What can this card teach you about loving yourself today? What personal quality does this card reflect back to you? The only guideline here is to be loving. If any non-loving thoughts come up, gently bring your mind back to the card and what you like about it. When you feel complete, thank yourself for taking that time to love yourself.
Tip #2: Believe Love is Possible
It sounds simple, but how many times have you done a love spell and wondered some version of, “Is this really going to work?”.
Every time you do that, you’re blocking the love that is meant to be yours.
One thing that helps me trust in my love spells is to do what I call a “Dinner Ritual” before my spell.
I cook myself a great dinner and before I eat, I’ll take a moment to close my eyes and “invite” my love to sit at the table with me. I don’t visualize a specific person, but if you have a person in mind, invite him or her to the table.
As I eat my food, I pay attention to any fluttery feelings that I get from the energy of “the person” I’ve invited to the table. Then I perform my spell, bringing that positive energy with me.
You can make this ritual your own by thinking of any activity you’d like to do with the person you love (or the person you hope to attract). If you’re a long-walk-on-the-beach person, go find a beach and invite the energy of that person to walk along with you. Notice the feelings that come up and enjoy them. Then pour those emotions into your love spell.
Tip #3: Become a Love Magnet
One obstacle I’ve run into with my love spells is in the type of energy I’m using. I’m a goal-oriented person, and when I want something, I do whatever it takes to make it happen. This works well in business and entrepreneurship, but it’s horribly repellent in my love spells.
That’s because I’m using a pulling energy, which doesn’t work very well on people. If you pull the person you love, they’ll pull away. Then you’ll pull harder and it becomes a vicious cycle. A more effective way is to use an attracting energy. If you attract your person, they’ll choose to move towards you. It’s a much more enjoyable experience for both people in the relationship.
It can be tough to shed that needy pulling energy when you’re desperate to bring love into your life, so here are three methods I’ve used to shift my energy to attracting.
- Make a cup of tea and breathe in the steam. Pay attention to what it feels like to allow the steam into your nostrils. This is what attracting energy should feel like. You don’t need to do anything but breathe and allow it in. Bring this energy to your love spells.
- Place a magnet on your altar when you’re performing love spells.
- Create an affirmation that the Future You would say once you’ve attracted the love you want. You’ll have no reason to pull if you believe your desire is a done deal. When I perform my love spells, I’ll say something like, “The person I love has found me.”
Tip #4: Get Reacquainted with the Feelings of Love
If it has been a long time since you felt those juicy feelings of passion, it’s a good idea to remind yourself what that feels like before you work your love spell. I do this by watching a romantic movie or rereading a book featuring a character I’d totally been crushing on. I’m a sucker for Rhett Butler in Gone With the Wind.
Sure, these are fictional characters; but when you’re immersed in their world, you end up going along on their journey. The stories will bring up emotions in you that you might otherwise have trouble tapping into. Though the characters aren’t real, your emotions are. That’s exactly what you’ll need for your love spell!
Tip #5: Surround Yourself with Love
When you’re feeling unloved, it’s healing to expose yourself to the loving relationships you already have in your life. Everyone has someone or something who cares for them. It could be a friend or family member, a pet, your deities, a loved one who has passed away, or even a place outside where you can feel nature’s unconditional love.
And ok, yes, I get it. This is not the same as a romantic partner. Cooking dinner with your mom when you wish you were out on a date with someone sexy might feel counterproductive. But love is love. If you celebrate the love you have, more will come.
Tip #6: Let Go of Any Love Blocks
Many times, the emotions that are blocking your love spells are connected to a person. Perhaps it’s the person who broke your heart. Or maybe it was the moment your significant other said something hurtful to you that you can’t get out of your head.
If there’s someone or something you need to let go of, take care of that first before you work your love spell. You need to create room inside of your heart to allow new love in. There are a number of letting go spells you can try, but here’s one I use.
Letting Go Water Ritual
Fill a jar with warm water. Hold the jar with both hands and close your eyes. Allow the warmth from the water to seep into your palms, connecting you to the water through the jar.
Next, think of the person or the moment you need to let go of. Allow yourself to really go there in your mind. Let the painful emotions bubble up inside of you. If you don’t allow yourself to feel the full extent of your emotional pain from that person or moment, you won’t be able to let it go completely.
Visualize all the pain flowing out of your heart, through your arms, and into the jar of water. When you feel like you’ve gotten all the energy from the person or moment out of your body, pour the water out. The negative energy will go along with it.
You can pour the water out in a sink or toilet if you want. Another option is pouring the water outside. The earth will receive the water and cleanse the negative energy from it. If you choose to do this, thank the earth for helping you with your ritual.
Tip #7: Attract the Right Person
If it feels right, get specific on the details of the person you want to attract. Journal about anything that comes to mind. You can include what the person will look like and the personal qualities he or she will have. To go further, think about the vacations you’ll take or the Netflix shows you’ll binge-watch together.
For more ideas on who to attract, check out social media. If you find yourself feeling envious while looking at your friend’s honeymoon photos, dig into those feelings. What part of their experience would you like to bring into your life? Do you want someone who loves hiking? Do you wish your current partner would go wine tasting with you? Great! Include all that. Envy is a shortcut to discovering what you really want.
When you’re done writing, you can use a bit of magic on the pages. One way is to burn the pages in a fireproof container. Another way is to lay the pages out under the full moon for extra manifesting power. A third way is to fold them underneath a Carnelian crystal, a gemstone associated with true love.
Tip #8: Become Empowered
If you’re feeling like the one you love will never love you back, look within. If you did the journaling step mentioned above, take that list and start becoming the person you described. If you want someone who plays guitar, sign up for a beginner’s class. Do you want someone fit? Get yourself to the gym. When you’re actively aligning yourself to the one you desire, you’ll shift from a feeling of helplessness to a sense of empowerment.
One of the best ways to harness this self-empowerment is through sex magic. Have you ever wanted to try sex magic but didn’t have a partner to try it with? To a lot of magic practitioners, the idea of performing sex magic by yourself may seem odd. After all, how do you find the passion and fire except with a partner? That’s how you build energy for real sex magic! Of course, this is not the case. A solo sex magician has just as much energy, just as much passion, and seductive power as one who works with a partner. Sometimes, depending on the individual, they might find that they have even more! If you’re ready to learn how to cast powerful spells using one of the most potent natural energies we have, then my Solo Sex Magic class is for you!
You Have the Power
No matter how unloved you feel, you still have the power to perform a potent love spell. All it takes to supercharge your love spell is the right emotional prep work, a little creativity, and a way to tap into the power already inside of you.